At times like this, words are never enough, especially in print rather than face to face, but it seems to me that you've acted responsibly, you've done the best by and for your lad, given him the best start ever, the family sound lovely and as painful as it is he will thrive and get the best opportunity with them, you will find pleasure in his achievements and be proud of your very important role in this. As regards your grand daughter, again, however painful, it's difficult to appreciate others' decisions especially when it has an impact on us, good on you for not letting this affect your relationship. It's difficult growing up but just as difficult being a parent/ grandparent. Little steps forward and big hugs in the meantime X