[sabrina]

Emma -Louise is my 12 year old grandaughter and has been around our ponies before she could walk. We have her most weekends ( long story ) and thanks to my friend June have a Shetland cross Highland pony on loan. She has come on so much over the summer but because she is very tall for her age I cannot see Teka doing her more than 2 years. We have had a long talk on where to go next and she is very keen for me to buy a Highland foal for her to love, something of her own that she can train and grow with. Her life is far from easy and I see so much of myself in her but now that I have retired from my job at the hospital money will be a bit on the tight side until I get my pension next September.I will be selling my Stallions if not this year then next. Not easy for me to do but with my joints showing the boys has become difficult and they would be far happier running with mares which I no longer have. I have pointed out to her that I can do most of the ground work but when it comes to backing and schooling then this would be down to her ( not allowed to ride anymore ). Trouble is I have 6 grandchildren. Only 3 live near enough that I see them the others being in Wales. Only Emma is keen on the ponies. I have a Shetland Gelding for the younger ones if they want to ride. Would I be wrong to buy a foal for Emma, keep it at my expense knowing that parents, stepmother, stepfather ( yes its complicated ) would not help out. I love all my grandchildren but I know the others have a good life, get lots of treats and holidays something Emma gets very little off. She wants to do dressage in the future, produce her pony herself the way I have always done. Its in her to get there but where do I draw the line ?

[Sbom]

Just a thought, but by the time the foal is old enough to be ridden your granddaughter would be around 16? Do you think she'd be content with a highland pony? Not that there not lovely, I think there gorgeous but if she's keen on doing dressage then maybe she'd want something more warmbloody? My daughter loves our cob type ponies now but I know when she's  an older teenager she'llwant something bigger, faster, jumper, showier etc ( not looking forward to it! )
Just some things to consider. By the way I would have loved to have had a grandma that bought me a pony and helped and encouraged aswell  she's lucky she has you by the sounds of it 

[lachlanandmarcus]

Horses are so cheap atm, I would get her one but get her (given her age and changing needs) something that is backed but needs to be brought on. That way she will get fun from bringing it on but also get to go out and about on it too before she grows out of it.

[Rosemary]

Highland ponies can do dressage - Macallum of Millfield, from the same stud as Smokey, did dressage to quite a high level.

[lachlanandmarcus]

They can and some do,  but it is the exception rather than the rule, since they dont have the extravagance of body confirmation/ movement  (which is a good thing, since it makes them more comfortable to ride, longer lasting and sounder), nor are they always massively keen on endless schooling sessions. To me that just demonstrates their intelligence and sense :-)))
But all of them could happily do lower level stuff, so that wouldnt put off a recommendation.

[SallyintNorth]

I think sabrina is more than experienced enough to select and bring on the right sort of pony.     I hear the question being about the fairness and whether it matters that she provides another pony for one grandchild when the others don't have any.

I have no children or grandchildren, just some very young nephews and nieces, so won't comment directly about children.

However, in terms of fairness - some people think 'fairness' means treating everyone the same, some think it means treating everyone according to their needs.  I used to think the former and as I've grown older and I hope wiser, have leaned more and more towards the latter.

Would it make it feel more equitable, and be feasible, if it were the case that the new pony was available to be ridden by any grandchild attaining the appropriate level of competence...?

[sabrina]

I have had a warmblood, he grew to 18 hands and getting him to do a dressage test was hard work. Tee-Jay was my x race horse he too found dressage difficult. Sabrina my cob on the other hand often beat my friends fancy bred horses not only in dressage but cross country and show jumping. She loved her job. her highest score in dressage was 87% winning over 26 other horses. Horses are far from cheap up here, expect to pay £4, 000 to £5,000 for a warmblood foal . An adult Highland would be around £3, 500. Highlands are far cheaper to keep and most can go barefoot. Once Emma has reached the stage where a Highland could not take her as far as she wanted to go then she has something decent to sell to go towards getting a dressage horse to take her to the next level. My worry is am I doing the wrong thing by giving her something that I could not do for the rest if they were as keen. She has a natural talent even on the ground she will groom, muck out and pick up droppings in the field. Getting dirty has never bothered her where as my other 2 grandaughters who are a bit younger are very girlie, into nails and make up and fashion already. The boys have no interest, its all football with them which is no surprise seeing as my sons all played into their 30's .No one bought me a horse or pony I did it myself age 24 and I only got him because he was a nutter. My mother told me from the age of 4 I knew that I wanted to work with horses but no one gave me any help.Maybe if I had the chance at Emma's age I would not have been exploited working with horses doing a 14 hour day from the age of 15 and my joints would not be as bad as they are.

[Bionic]

Like the other Sally I don't have any children and therefore no grandchildren so I may be completely wrong here but is it worth discussing it with them all before you make a decision?
Sally

[sabrina]

Hi SallyintNorth I have had the ponies in the past if any of the others wanted to ride. Rory the shetland gelding who is broken to ride and almost to drive is great with the kids but none of them would groom or tack up. Out of my 3 sons only Emma's dad was keen and I bought him 2 ponies until he took up football.Maybe I am the way I am with Emma because I see myself at her age and know how it feels to want something so much. I used to save a whole year eleven shillings and six pence to have 2 hours pony trecking by doing jobs for our neighbours. My parents had no interest at all.

[clydesdaleclopper]

However, in terms of fairness - some people think 'fairness' means treating everyone the same, some think it means treating everyone according to their needs.  I used to think the former and as I've grown older and I hope wiser, have leaned more and more towards the latter.

I was about to post the same point. It is not about treating everyone the same. I think it would be perfectly okay to do this for only one grandchild.

[SallyintNorth]

The other way you could put it is that you want another competition pony, but need someone to ride it for you.    In Dales and to a lesser extent Fell Ponies, it is not at all uncommon for the 'producer' to not ride the pony themselves, but to have it shown ridden.

If it were me, I suspect that I would later on regret it mightily if I'd not taken the opportunity to help a young relative get going with a hobby (that could become a career - she could be an Olympian in 2020 for all we all know! ) that was in my area of expertise and interest. 

If you retained ownership of the pony for now, by the time she was ready for her next horse you would know if any of the others were going to want to take it up, and could decide then whether this pony is your granddaughter's, for her to sell to put towards her next horse, or a pony that is now made available to the other grandkids to get them started.

How'm I doing? 

[Sbom]

That sounds like a good solution, you wouldn't have to make it exactly your granddaughters pony, just a project pony she was helping with....a lot! 

[sabrina]

I see your point and it makes sense. whatever I do my daughter in-laws will still moan. Emma is doing a show this weekend and as far as I know both sets of parents are busy. One day they will look back and wish they had given her more time.

[Sbom]

You could explain to them that she is actually paying for the pony by doing jobs for you. If you pay £500 for example then at £5/hr she would own the pony after 100 hrs work, even if it took years to pay off. The other children could possibly have a 'share' if they were willing to help with jobs aswell?

[lachlanandmarcus]

that sounds a good idea - she will earn the ££/share as she is the committed one; the others wont but it will be their choice.