[DODx]

Are all horsey people bitchy?
We have been at the same yard for over 10 years before we decided to leave, left on a good note just looking for better hacking as that is mainly what we do now and being one busy main road made that very hard. So anyway we moved to this yard which was just brilliant, good facilities, good people. Then this livery moved up (well she's not really a livery just constantly on at people to borrow their horses). Anyway this girl started spreading rumours about me saying I was horrible to her etc. (I have never said two words to this person btw) obviously I was a bit confused so searched her on social media and we have some mutual friends, turns out she's always had it in for me and has said some horrible stuff for everyone to see. I now feel so awkward around everyone and wonder if I'll ever get to spend time with my horse in peace?!

[harmony]

The answer to that is "no" because apart from this person you say the other people are good. I'm afraid you get this sort of person anywhere. Can you speak to her and see what her problem is?

[DODx]

The thing is everyone else seems so sucked in by her. I deal with these sort of people everyday knowing that at least when I get home I can see my horse for some horse therapy now I even dread that. She actively avoids me and tries to get everyone else to as well

[waterbuffalofarmer]

I am thinking it may be jealousy that she is picking on you. Just be nice to the other people and make sure they know that you're not like that, if they speak to you tell them the truth, most importantly be yourself. Another thing to do might be to complain to the people who own the yard and say that she is harrassing you and everyone else, via social media and in person, basically tell them the truth and they should be able to deal with her appropriately. In the meantime just ignore her, there will always be spiteful people in this world, I come accross them often in my line of work, sadly, but thats this world for you. Don't let her see it getting to you and most importantly just get on with whatever you are doing and I would complain about her to the right people as she is causing havoc, maybe even complain about her to.... was it FB? Am sorry that you're going through this it is not nice.

[DODx]

I am thinking it may be jealousy that she is picking on you. Just be nice to the other people and make sure they know that you're not like that, if they speak to you tell them the truth, most importantly be yourself. Another thing to do might be to complain to the people who own the yard and say that she is harrassing you and everyone else, via social media and in person, basically tell them the truth and they should be able to deal with her appropriately. In the meantime just ignore her, there will always be spiteful people in this world, I come accross them often in my line of work, sadly, but thats this world for you. Don't let her see it getting to you and most importantly just get on with whatever you are doing and I would complain about her to the right people as she is causing havoc, maybe even complain about her to.... was it FB? Am sorry that you're going through this it is not nice.

Thank you! I have two old friends I've known from my previous yard there so at least I still have them although I fee like I'm getting pushed further out of the friend circle with everyone else. They other 2 people are not a fan of her as they know her from before I came down so I'm thinking that might just be her personality?! So glad my Muma raised me better than that!

[harmony]

I am thinking it may be jealousy that she is picking on you. Just be nice to the other people and make sure they know that you're not like that, if they speak to you tell them the truth, most importantly be yourself. Another thing to do might be to complain to the people who own the yard and say that she is harrassing you and everyone else, via social media and in person, basically tell them the truth and they should be able to deal with her appropriately. In the meantime just ignore her, there will always be spiteful people in this world, I come accross them often in my line of work, sadly, but thats this world for you. Don't let her see it getting to you and most importantly just get on with whatever you are doing and I would complain about her to the right people as she is causing havoc, maybe even complain about her to.... was it FB? Am sorry that you're going through this it is not nice.

Thank you! I have two old friends I've known from my previous yard there so at least I still have them although I fee like I'm getting pushed further out of the friend circle with everyone else. They other 2 people are not a fan of her as they know her from before I came down so I'm thinking that might just be her personality?! So glad my Muma raised me better than that!

If you can't speak to her rise above it and remember the friends who stick by you are true friends.

[DODx]

Thank you harmony will keep reminding myself this. Just feels like such a bitchy hobby. Roll on the day when I get my own farm and it's just me and my animals! I'll maybe let the OH live there too if he's really nice to me.

[farmershort]

Like any hobby which required an above average level of commitment, you start to reduce the spread of population which would be involved.

As a crude example... If there were 10 broad types of character in the UK, perhaps only 7 of those character types also have the ability and interest in committing to a demanding hobby. Of those 7, perhaps only 3 are interested in shoveling s**t as part of that hobby

Thus, you're left with 3 broad types of character, where most of the rest of life has far more.

[ellied]

If you've been on two livery yards and only come across one bitchy person you're probably not doing too badly!  She can only upset you if you let her - see her behaviour as what it is and refuse to be drawn into it.  Either say to the yard owner that you're considering leaving because of the harassment and see what if anything will be done about it (but you do have to be prepared to follow through so have options beforehand).  Or rethink your yard visits and be working in the school or out hacking or not there at all when she is. 

Stay yourself with everyone, don't get defensive or start avoiding people you think might be on her side, that gives them evidence of your not being friendly.  Be the person you are and be seen being friendly, lies are best confronted simply by living the truth openly regardless.  Be carefully polite to her too, so people see if there is a problem it is in her mind or on her part, and nothing to do with how you actually behave.  Kill the rumour with kindness and bright carefree enjoyment of your hobby which is after all why you are all in that place isn't it!

[pharnorth]

Some good advice on here and hopefully it will help. Although people are at livery yards primarily for the horses it does become a big part of your life so tends to have similar problems as extended families, some people get in better than others but you are all in it together.   Do be careful though that you are not being more negative towards this person than you realise.  Your comment 'not really a livery just constantly on at people to borrow their horses' does not come across very nicely.

[DODx]

Thanks for the advice guys, I have decided to not let it bother me. Complaining to the yard owner may result in me having to leave and my horse doesn't travel well and it cause him more stress than it's worth.  Of course I have came across bitchy people before but being a very laid back person who knows how to keep her opinions to herself and doesn't talk about anyone I've never had any bitchyness aimed directly at me and certainly for no reason. Don't know if I'm ready to confront her in person as that might cause more trouble, she isn't a forgive and forget type.
Pharnorth I realise now that didn't come across well however she is very pushy with it not a single thanks or 'I'll help you muck out for it' she just asks people for their horses rides them and gives them back will not do any other yard duties is just there to ride and not care for the horses. She also throws a strop if you say no which I have seen her do a few times. Scarlet dragon my animals are definitely better than people wish we could just disappear with them all in tow!

[Hevxxx99]

Why is this person even allowed on the yard if she doesn't own a horse??

I had a similar experience and confronted them,, asking what their problem was. They backed down and left me alone after that. I didn't get told what the problem was, incidentally...

[DODx]

She used to have a horse there and sold him.
God you're brave confronting them haha. Even if I wanted to though there's no way she'd listen or care or stop saying things to other people about me 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

How is it going [member=160069]DODx[/member] ?

[DODx]

[member=42855]waterbuffalofarmer[/member] she's not been up in a while. She hated the fact that everyone else got along with me despite her trying to spread rumours so fell out with them all